oh god the rape fog is back!
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
