I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
