booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Even my vagina gasped.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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