I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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