With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
