New low: just hacked my moms facebook
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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