My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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