In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Randomize