Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
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