we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
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