Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
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