Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
