false alarm. still invincible.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Randomize