Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Randomize
