you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Randomize
