Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Mom said you looked used
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize