party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
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My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
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Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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