Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Randomize
