i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
