Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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