Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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