The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
