got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
