So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
