We're facebook friends in real life
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
