i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Randomize