oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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