so that wasnt chicken after all
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
