She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
