Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
