Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
