I can tuck mytits in my pants
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
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