i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
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I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
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Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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