Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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