Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
MIDGETS
????
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
