Me. At least after what I've been through.
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
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