thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize