so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Go christen that room with your naked body.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
