belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
