the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
