im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize