I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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