It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
