There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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