Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way