Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
