kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
Randomize
