Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
we made out on top of his cat.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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