Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
