So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
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