His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
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My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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