Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
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drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
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