So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
My Higher Power is John Stamos
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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